


Kano’s Cheesy Pick Up Lines

by Legato_Staccato



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: August 15, Awkward Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Canon Universe, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Happy Kagerou Day!, Heat Haze Day, Humor, Kano is so Punny, Love Confessions, Pick-Up Lines, Post STR, Puns & Word Play, Puns and Funs, don’t die guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 02:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legato_Staccato/pseuds/Legato_Staccato
Summary: Hibiya needs love advice, badly. But who will help him out? He and all the other boys of the Mekakushi Dan soon learn that help can come from the most unexpected of places, even puns and pick-up lines.





	Kano’s Cheesy Pick Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY AUGUST 15! We wanted to write something nice and fluffy for this tragic day, so here you are! FANDOM REVIVE! The end felt a little rushed, but we were desperate to get it done on time. I (Cat) had to write most of it because my dear sister had her first day of school today!
> 
> HibiMomo is one of my favorite ships, so IT MUST SAIL. I’m glad I was able to write a fic centered around them for Kagepro Day. 
> 
> Read and enjoy!

“You all probably want to know why I’ve called you here today,” Hibiya began. 

Seto, Kano, Shintaro, Haruka, and Hibiya sat on the floor in Kano’s room. No one knew why they were gathered in HIS room with its, ah, INTERESTING objects and decor (let’s not get into detail about that), but they didn’t question it. Earlier that day, Hibiya had asked that all of them meet somewhere for a private talk, and since he rarely got chummy or interacted closely with them, the boys of the Mekakushi Dan gladly (even Shintaro!) gathered together. 

Kano layed down and stretched on his rug, yawning. “I, for one, am curious. And the neet here came out for the talk, so I’m guessing he is, too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shintaro took a sip from his can of coke as he glared at the younger boy. 

He had insisted in bringing a drink to the meeting, claiming he’d melt if he didn’t. None of them had argued, knowing it was entirely true. 

“I’d like to know why we’re here, Hibiya,” Seto the prince interjected. “Is something wrong?”

Hibiya looked at the ground and picked at the carpet. He looked embarrassed. “Well, er… not really… well, s-sort of… I-I mean, that is- I…” he stuttered. 

Kano stared at the kid for exactly one second before the corners of his mouth turned up in a creepy grin. Shintaro shuddered. He knew that smirk all too well, and it never meant something nice. 

“Hibiya,” Kano giggled— giggled, like a highschool girl— “is it love problems?”

“Wh-wha… I-I…” Hibiya spluttered before turning his attention to his hands. “Yeah,” he muttered. “It’s Momo.”

Shintaro choked on his beverage, spewing Coke all over Kano’s rug. 

“Ew, Shintaro!” Kano complained. “You got my rug all dirty!”

Shintaro coughed and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “It was already filthy,” he managed. 

“S-sorry,” Hibiya mumbled. “I know she’s your sister and all…”

“Actually, I don’t know about that.” Kano put in. “Momo’s real cute and sweet, but this guy is just…”

“Hey!” Shintaro yelled. 

“So what exactly is wrong, Hibiya?” Haruka asked. 

“Well, I-I… I like her…” Hibiya blushed. 

“Uh-duh!” Kano groaned. “Get on with it!”

Seto shushed his friend gently. 

“B-but she’s too stupid to realize it!” Hibiya shouted. “I’ve given her flowers and chocolate, I’ve taken her to the amusement park, and I’ve told her that I like her flat-out!”

“Then how does she not know?” questioned Haruka. 

“I bet I know,” Shintaro said. “She gladly accepted the flowers and chocolate thinking they were random presents, friend-zoned him the entire amusement park date, and said something like ‘Yeah, I like you too! We’re such great friends!’ when he confessed.”

“Exactly!” Hibiya moaned, covering his face with his hands. “How can a person be so dense?!”

“Wow, she really is dense. I’m sorry, Hibiya,” Seto sighed. “How could someone be so oblivious?”

They all stared at the Frog Boy, the densest of them all, and wondered just how idiotic he could be. Their friend Marry had been trying to confess to him for years and he had yet to notice. 

“What can we do to help?” Haruka turned to Hibiya. 

“W-well, I was hoping you could help me ask her out. In a way that won't get me friend-zoned.” Hibiya turned red as he turned to Shintaro. “Especially you, since you’re her brother, and you know what she likes.”

“Dude,” Shintaro said. “You do not know what you’re getting yourself into. She’s not girlfriend material. She’s a little monster.”

“Aww,” Seto cooed. “Shintaro’s trying to protect his little sister!”

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Shintaro groaned. “I’m just trying to save this poor kid’s life. Do you know how many times she’s nearly poisoned me with her cooking? As soon as she touches food, it’s no longer edible. Her horrible sense of fashion is a weapon itself. And don’t even get me started on her weird habits and love of game show videos…”

“I don’t care!” Hibiya interrupted, flushing red as he did. “I-I mean, she did so much me, back when Hiyori was trapped in the Daze. Momo saved me from falling into despair. A-And I haven’t been able to thank her for everything or even t-tell her how I feel. I finally realized how I feel about her and I want to tell her. S-so you can help me or not!”

“Woah, calm down there, tiger.” Kano placed a reassuring hand on Hibiya’s shoulder. “Of course we’ll help you. We’re your friends here. I just don’t know how we can help you…”

Hibiya perked up. “I’ve got it!” He turned innocently to Kano. “How did you confess to Kido?”

Shintaro spewed cola once again. Seto barely covered his laugh, while Haruka’s normally tranquil smile became a slight smirk. Kano choked on his own spit.

“I-I don’t understand what you’re talking about Hibiya.” he coughed. “K-kido and I aren’t-aren’t dating.” Kano whispered the last word as if saying it could cast a curse upon the occupants of his room. 

“Oh.” Hibiya frowned. “I could swear you guys were…” Hibiya whirled around to face Shintaro. “Then how did you ask out Ayano?” Shintaro blanched and started shaking. 

“L-listen kid,” the NEET stuttered. “I-It’s not like that between us we’re just-”

“He’s too scared to confess.” Seto grinned.

“Okay then.” Hibiya faced his next target. “How about you and Marry then, huh?”

Seto’s grin disappeared and he covered his face in his hands. “Marry doesn’t think that way about me!” he cried. “She’s too cute for me!”

Hibiya sighed and turned to Haruka. “One of you has got to have some kind of advice on girls.” 

Haruka just smiled. “Takane once told me she loved me.”

“Wait— what?!” 

Haruka chuckled nervously as his friends clustered around him. 

“After we came out of the Daze,” he explained. “Takane hugged me and told me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. I fainted and woke up. When I did, she punched me and told me that she hated me, so I think I was still in a daze and hallucinated it all.” 

The four were silent for a while, sympathizing for their friend and his violent crush. The silence was eventually broken by Kano’s quiet snickers.

“Ha,” Kano giggled. “Daze, daze. Get it? Like ‘in a Daze?’ Ha!”

Shintaro groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Is your train of thought so messed up you only think of bad puns?! In this time of need?!”

Kano stopped laughing as he was hit with inspiration. 

“That’s it!” he beamed. Kano turned to Hibiya and began to shake the poor boy back and forth. “That’s what you need! You need to make Momo laugh!”

“I need to what?”

“Make her laugh! Flirt with her and charm her as you ride into the sunset on a white hor-” 

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Seto, ever the animal lover, interrupted.

“Shut up, Seto!” Kano felt giddy with excitement. “I’m the expert with bad puns and pick up lines! I can actually help you this way! Momo likes funny things. If you make her laugh she might start to listen, really listen, to what you have to say.”

Hibiya nodded slowly. “It sounds like it could work but…”

“But what?” Haruka asked.

“But it’s so embarrassing!” Hibiya cried and buried his face in his hands. “I would never say the creepy kind of stuff you say, Kano!”

“Ouch,” Kano said. “But listen!”

Shintaro mocked, “Ew, Kano! You’ll get my mind dirty!” 

“It was already filthy.” Kano retorted smugly. 

Shintaro had no response to that except a glare. 

“Now hush and listen to the master, children,” Kano said. “He will give you a lesson in the ancient art of pick up lines and flirting.”

“Um, I don’t think—” Haruka began, but Kano hushed him. 

“I will say a line. You repeat or retort.” Kano instructed before clearing his throat. “I must be a snowflake, because I’m falling for you.”

“I must be a snowflake, because I’m falling for you.” Hibiya, Haruka, and Shintaro echoed. 

Much to the surprise of all, Seto chose to retort. “You don’t look like a snowflake,” he said. 

Kano looked vastly amused. “Yeah. I’m a puddle of water now. You’re so hot you melted me.”

Seto’s face reddened, and he mumbled, “How can you say something like that?”

“Son, you have a long way to go.” Kano said triumphantly. “The lesson continues!”

 

...

 

By the end of the “lesson,” all of them were able to retort and spout at least ten pick up lines. They had practiced for well over three hours and were exhausted. 

“Well done, my pupils,” Kano nodded approvingly. “Now, training is over. Who wants to go into battle for real first?”

“I vote Hibiya!” Shintaro said quickly. “He’s the one who wanted to do this in the first place!”

“Wh-what?!” Hibiya demanded. “I bet Ayano’s dying to flirt with you! Go on and talk with her right now!”

“Wait, we’re all doing this?” cried Seto. “I’m not ready to confess! Marry doesn't think of me like that!”

“Um… T-Takane could hit me…” Haruka stuttered. 

“Calm yourselves, children. We’ll decide by a game.” Kano said. “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

“Pff, that’s a kid’s game. Way too easy.” Shintaro rolled his eyes. 

“Get ready!” Kano ignored him. 

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

Shintaro lost. 

 

…

 

Shintaro gulped as he watched Ayano flip a page of the comic book she was currently reading. The girl sat on the living room couch, enjoying the company of a comic and a glass of juice. She had always enjoyed superhero comics, but recently she had taken a particular interest in Spider-Man. 

“I like how he’s a cool super hero, but a huge nerd underneath,” she had said. 

Shintaro mentally begged the universe for some heroic Spider-Man courage, but he remained Shintaro the Nerd. 

The boy inhaled slowly. Then exhaled. He needed to calm down. Something calming, something calming…

He pictured strangling Kano then tossing his body out the window. Ah, that would be nice. 

Refreshed by his quick visualization, Shintaro stepped out from behind the wall and walked towards Ayano. 

“Oh, hi Shintaro!” Ayano smiled at him and Shintaro felt his heart beat a little faster. “Did you need something? I’m just finishing this issue up.”

“Um, uh, h-hi Ayano.” Shintaro’s voice cracked with an ugly squawk. “I w-wad jut wandering, I mean, w-wondering…”

Ayano tilted her head quizzically. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say Shintaro?”

Shintaro’s head went blank for the next minute. 

“ARE YOU A BANANA.” Shintaro’s scream echoed through the quiet base. “CAUSE YOU’RE SO A-PEELING.”

Shintaro’s first thought was, “that was stupid” and the next was, “THAT WAS STUPID.”

Oh why, oh why had he actually listened to Kano’s shitty advice?!

Shintaro was in the middle of contemplating the best way to commit suicide within the next few seconds when he heard Ayano start to laugh. 

“D-did Kano tell you that one?” She giggled. “He used to tell me bad pick-up lines all the time for fun. It was a kinda game between us.”

Shintaro, now contemplating the best place to hide a body, nodded dumbly. 

“Well, sit down!” Ayano grinned and patted the cushion next to her on the couch. “I’ll tell you some of my best ones!”

 

…

 

“I can’t see!” Hibiya hissed, trying to push Kano’s face out of the way. “Move it,   
uncle!”

“Shh!” Kano shushed the boy underneath him. “They’ll hear you!”

“Awww, it’s true love!” Seto cooed from on top of Kano’s mop of dirty blonde. 

“But they didn’t confess or anything.” Haruka frowned. “How is it true love?”

Kano untangled himself from underneath Seto and Haruka. 

“Well, my young grasshopper,” he began. “There are many steps on the path to true love, one being ‘sexual tension’ combined with the stepping stone of ‘friendly teasing.’ That you see there is simply a stepping stone on the path to true love, confession, marriage and babies.”

Hibiya made a gagging noise in the background. 

“They look so cute together!” Seto grinned. “Anyone got a camera?”

Kano swiftly snatched his phone from his pocket and took a couple of quick pictures, snickering. 

Unfortunately, that’s when Shintaro spotted them. 

One second, he was smiling genuinely, though nervously, as he talked with Ayano.

The next he was screeching “what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” and chasing after his friends at full speed. 

Once the last scream of the Mekakushi boys had died down, Ayano returned to her comic. She sighed happily at the words of love Shintaro had confessed before leaving. 

He was way cooler than Spider-Man. 

 

…

 

“Alrighty then, whose turn is it now?” Kano chirped. 

They were back in his room, congratulating Shintaro on his success. 

“I’m… g-going… to get… f-faster… ugh…” Shintaro panted, chugging down a whole bottle of soda. 

“As a neet, you have no stamina,” Haruka said sensibly. “You should get out more and exercise!”

Shintaro let out a large blech in reply. 

“If I recall correctly, it was Haruka’s turn after Shintaro,” Hibiya put in. 

Haruka flushed a deep red. 

“T-Takane doesn’t see me as anything more than a f-friend… I c-can’t tell her…” he stuttered. 

“Go out there and be a man!” Shintaro yelled, clapping his friend on the back. 

The others idly wondered just how much confidence confessing to your crush gave you. 

“We believe in you, Haruka!” Seto gave a thumbs up sign. 

“You have passed the class, my pupil,” Kano added. 

Haruka bit his lip and inhaled deeply. He marched away without a word. 

Less than ten seconds later, he popped back into the room. 

“Um… do any of you know where Takane is?” he laughed nervously. 

“She’s gaming in the lounge,” Hibiya sighed. “I saw her as we were fleeing from the neet.”

“Speaking of which, I still need to kill you guys,” Shintaro said. 

Haruka headed for the lounge as the screams ensued. 

 

…

 

“Hey, Takane,” Haruka greeted the girl as she sat on the lounge sofa, her thumbs moving faster than lightning across a game controller. 

“Hey, Haruka,” she returned, her eyes not moving from the TV screen. “Wanna play?”

“Sure!”

Haruka grabbed a controller and sat down next to her. They were playing some sort of bloody shooting game. Haruka grinned and began twisting knobs and pressing the buttons. He had been practicing, so he was excited to test out his skills. 

It was silent except for the sounds of the game and occasional grunt or “damn it!” from Takane. Haruka loved playing with her; it was so much fun!

About twenty minutes later, once they had finished playing a round, Haruka suddenly remembered his original goal. Whoops, he had been so engrossed in the game, he’d forgotten. 

“U-um, Takane…” he began. 

“Mm? What?” she asked, stretching absentmindedly. 

“E-er… d-do you have a map? Because I’m g-getting lost in your eyes!” Haruka managed. 

Takane stared at him. 

Haruka turned beet red and ran to the fridge. He grabbed a few sandwiches and returned, stuffing them in his mouth. Eating always calmed him down. 

Takane was in the same place he had left her. 

He tried another one. “Are you a magician? Every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

“I’m a witch, actually, and I’ll put you in my stew.” Takane said. 

Haruka gaped. She retorted. 

But this is what Kano had trained him for. 

“W-well! I bet that stew’s boiling, because, you’re s-so hot!”

Takane’s cheeks flamed. 

That was embarrassing. 

Haruka forged on, “Um… d-do you have a band aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.”

She covered her face with her hands. 

“I think you’re worth even more than Kenjirou Sensei’s specimen!”

That one earned him a smack on the head. 

“Idiot!” Takane screamed. “That’s so embarrassing! That useless teacher’s specimen, of all things!”

Haruka had to smile. She was too cute. 

“I love you, Takane,” he said. 

Oops. He didn’t mean to say that out loud. 

Her face was bright red. “Stupid Haruka,” she mumbled. “Stupid me for loving stupid Haruka.”

Harula nodded sagely. Then her words sank in. “You love me?!” he yelled, shocked. 

“Not so loud, you dummy!” she tackled him to the ground in an attempt to cover his mouth. 

Haruka hit his elbow on the ground, and though it hurt, he couldn’t stop the ridiculous smile that was spreading across his face. 

“You love me!” he repeated. 

She kissed his cheek lightly. “Stupid.”

 

…

 

“I say Haruka was more successful than Shintaro!” Kano announced, the boys of the dan once more gathered in his room. “He got a kiss!”

“Is it because he used more pick up lines?” Seto asked. 

“Yes, indeed! Good observation, Pupil Seto.” 

“Shut up.” Shintaro groaned while holding an ice pack to his bruised forehead. “You guys are so loud, it’s giving me a headache.”

“You got no one to blame but yourself.” Hibiya responded. “You tripped over your own feet!”

“Anyway,” Kano interrupted the two. “It’s my turn now, so I shall be on my way! Wish me luck boys! Tata!”

As Seto, Shintaro and Hibiya watched Kano walk away, Shintaro leaned in towards the other two. 

“20 bucks he gets hit.”

 

…

 

Kano scoffed as he heard the bets being made behind him, all in favor of the belief that Kano would get severely pummeled by Kido. He would show those disbelievers. The power of cheesy pick-up lines would never fail him. 

He just hoped Kido wouldn’t beat his ass for using them. 

Kido was working in the kitchen to prepare dinner. She was currently bent over a large red pot, simmering on the stove. From the delicious aroma that wafted about the room, Kano could tell that tonight would be a meal of Kido’s amazing curry. 

Kano brushed himself off and gave a quick look at his hair in a nearby pan before sauntering towards the girl. 

“Kido, my dear! Fancy meeting you here!”

“What do you want, Kano?” The green haired girl eyed him suspiciously, hands still working on stirring the curry. 

“Why, what makes you say such a thing! Can’t I simply say hello to the most beautiful creature in this household?”

Kido’s eyes narrowed more than Kano thought was possible. He gulped nervously.

“I mean, I just wanted to say… we must be in the Heat Haze Daze.”

“What?” Kido’s shocked and confused face gave Kano enormous confidence. 

“Because it’s so hot in here. Oh wait! That’s just you.”

“If it’s too hot in here for you, get out.” Kido turned back to the curry, not sparing Kano another glance. 

That was surprising. Kano hadn’t expected Kido of all people to retort. He has thought she would maybe stutter and blush, like she used to when they were kids. 

‘Guess Kido’s all grown up,’ Kano thought to himself. ‘This will be fun!’

“Well, it’s ok,” Kano drawled as he draped himself across the counter, gaze not moving from Kido. “I’m a snowflake after all. Cause I’m falling for you.”

“How can you say these humiliating things?” Kido grunted in annoyance, but her slightly pinker cheeks told Kano a different story. 

He grinned widely and continued firing pickup line after pickup line. 

“Is that an airplane, or is that my heart taking off for you?”

“Excuse me miss, but you look familiar! You must be my new girlfriend!”

“You must be lost, heaven is far away from here.”

“Even if there was no gravity on earth, I would fall for you.”

“You’re cute, just like a panda. It’s causing such panda-monium in my heart!”

“Are you a-“

Before Kano could finish his last pickup line, Kido’s fist planted itself into his face. 

“You idiot!” Kido shrieked, cheeks aflame. She brandished her ladle like a sword and whacked the boy with it. “Get out of my kitchen! You’re not getting any dinner tonight either!”

“But Kido, why!?” Kano shrieked as he tried to protect his body from the pain of Kido’s utensil. “I’m only trying to woo you!”

“Woo me properly then!” She screamed back as she continued to shove him out of the kitchen. “Not with your stupid jokes! Do something romantic for once! Like a date!”

With a final push, Kido managed to kick Kano out the kitchen and slammed the door. 

“So… will you go on a date with me then?” Kano called through the door. He put his ear against the wood to listen to a response. 

“Yes…” Kido’s reply came softly. Kano couldn’t help fist pumping in silent victory. 

“But you’re still not getting any dinner tonight!”

“Aww, but Tsubomi, you know how much I love your curry…”

“No!”

 

…

 

When Kano got back to his room, the last bets were being settled. 

“I must say, I’ve done the best by far!” Kano bragged, swaggering over to the nearest chair. “My darling Tsubomi fell all over me by the end, simply begging me to go on a date with her!”

“Bruh, what alternate universe are YOU living in?” Hibiya scoffed. 

“Yeah. We saw Kido hit you,” Shintaro added. 

“Hitting is her way of showing affection,” Kano chuckled. “The harder she hits, the harder she loves. Thus, someone go get me an ice pack, will you?”

Shintaro tossed his former ice pack, now a leaky bag of lukewarm water, to Kano. 

“You’re welcome,” the neet said. 

“It’s Seto’s turn now, isn’t it?” Haruka interjected. 

“W-what?!” Seto yelled. “I’m not doing this! W-who said I was doing this?!”

“Master Kano. Duh.” Kano rolled his eyes. 

“Marry’s… I-I’m not good enough for her.”

Kano’s face became serious. He stood and patted his childhood friend on the shoulder. He opened his mouth to say what the others assumed would be a heartfelt, inspiring speech to make Seto get out there and confess his true love. 

But no. What came out was, “Sucks to be you, man. Now go get your girl!” before Kano literally kicked Seto out of the room and locked the door. 

Seto banged on the door in a fit of panic. “K-K-Kano! Let me in! I can’t do this!”

“Seto?” a sweet, familiar voice filled Seto’s ears. “Why’re you hitting the door?”

“M-Marry!” Seto gulped. 

Time to man up. 

“Marry!” he shouted. “Um… I thought happiness started with H. So why does mine start with U?”

Marry tilted her head quizzically. “Uappiness? That doesn’t make much sense.”

Of course. Marry was much too innocent to realize that he was trying to flirt with her. Seto mentally face palmed.

Still, he had to keep trying. 

“Erm… I-I’m always in the Daze when I’m with you…”

Marry gasped. “The Daze? Are we gonna get trapped?! Nooooo!” she wrapped her arms around Seto and buried her face in his clothes. 

“S-sorry, Marry! That’s… that’s not what I meant!” Seto cried, trying to ignore how nice she smelled. Had she changed her shampoo? He liked it. 

“I was trying to say… uh… I don’t have a l-library card, but do you mind if I check you out?”

“Eh? But you do have a card. Did you lose it?” Marry looked up at him. 

No use. 

Seto sighed. “I’m just not cut out for this flirting stuff.” He ran a hand through his hair. 

“Huh?” Marry gasped. “You were flirting with me?”

Seto nodded and looked away, embarrassed. 

“I’m so happy!” Marry squealed, hugging him tightly. “A boy flirts with a girl ‘cause he likes her. Right, Seto? Right? And you’re flirting with me, which means you like me! And I love Seto!”

Seto’s mind took a while to process this new information. It seemed unreal. Then he laughed. 

“Yes, Marry! I like you very much! Will you go out with me?”

Marry sighed happily. “It’s just like a fairytale. Of course I will!”

 

…

 

Seto was met with clapping once he returned to Kano’s room. 

“Beautifully played, Prince Seto.” Shintaro said. 

“Bravo, your majesty,” Kano added. 

“You are the smoothest of the smooth, your highness,” Haruka put in. 

“You were so sweet, Prince Seto,” Hibiya commented. 

“Okay!” Seto cried, covering his face with his hands. “Enough with the prince stuff, I get it!”

Kano laughed. “Now, I believe it is time for the main event. Drumroll, please! No? Shintaro, don’t give me that look. Anyways, it’s time for Hibiya to confess his love to Momo!”

The boys clapped and cheered.

Hibiya took a shaky breath. It was time. “Wish me luck.”

 

…

 

Momo had a room in their secret base. Everyone did, even though not everybody lived in the base. Rooms had been something Momo insisted on.

“It’s not a secret base if not everybody has their secret space!” she had said. 

Hibiya had been inside her room a few times before. Momo had a very unique taste in interior design. The walls were painted her signature color orange, adorned with countless posters for obscure anime no one had ever heard of before. She had minimal furniture in the room, but for some reason, had random streamers and ribbons tossed around everywhere. They made it impossible for anyone to move in the room. 

Hibiya liked those little quirks about her. Sure they were ugly and weird, but those bizarre tendencies was what made Momo Momo. 

The thought made the boy chuckle, the idol girl never failed to amuse him.

In fact, Hibiya was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the person right in front of him.

“Watch out, kid!” 

Hibiya looked up to see a furry, green monster towering over him. He let out a less-than-manly shriek before diving down beneath a nearby houseplant. From there, Hibiya watched as the large green thing toppled over and fell to the hardwood floor with a hard thud.

He winced in sympathy before hurrying to help whatever it was that fell over. 

“Are you okay-”

“Thanks Hibiya!” Momo’s face popped out from the bright green fabric to beam at the boy. “Man, this rug is way heavier than I thought it would be!”

“Mo - Auntie?!” Hibiya screeched. Their faces were too close together, he couldn’t think properly. “What are you doing?!” 

“Don’t call me Auntie! I told you I’m not that old! I saw this rug while I was out grocery shopping. It’s really cute! It was also on sale!”

“But we don’t need a rug. Where are we going to put that huge thing?’

“Hmm… maybe I can keep it in my room until our old ones wear out?”

“Auntie, there’s no way that rug is going to fit in your room. It’s already jam packed with your other ugly stuff.”

“Eh?! What’s that supposed to mean, you disrespectful little kid?! Are you insulting my taste?!”

The two began to bicker for a while, something Hibiya enjoyed doing. It was fun, almost like a game, and the closest he had ever gotten to flirting before. Bickering and teasing with Momo was an enjoyment for the both of them. But this was getting him nowhere in the attempt to confess his feelings.

“Well, maybe we can use the fabric for something!”

“What for? It’s so ugly that fabric would be useless!”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe like a disguise or something?”

“That neon green fabric? A disguise? Are you serious?”

“Then to get attention! Maybe I can use it when you’re not listening. You never pay attention to me anyways!”

“What?! I pay plenty of attention!”

Ridiculously, Hibiya remembered one of Kano’s pick up lines at that moment. 

“Even though you don’t have your eye power anymore, I can’t stop looking at you!” he yelled. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I still have my power?!” Momo gasped. 

“Arg, no, you idiot! Ugh, just… let me take a picture of you! So I can prove angels really exist!”

“Of course angles really exist! That’s what math’s all about, isn’t it?!”

“You deaf woman! I said ANGELS, not ANGLES!”

“What do I have to do with math?!”

“Stupid! Do you live in a corn field! BECAUSE I’M STALKING YOU!”

“Huh?! I do not live in a corn field! Stop insulting me!”

“I’m not— ugh! You should pay rent for all the time you spend in my mind!”

“Look, I’m broke. I spent all of my money on red bean soup flavored soda and dried squid! I’ll give you some of that…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!”

Hibiya ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. Enough of this roundabout stuff. He was going full on. 

“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.” he said. There. That was pretty blunt, wasn’t it?

But Momo being Momo, she handed him a Hershey’s Kiss out of nowhere. It took all of Hibiya’s power and manly pride (which, unfortunately, was not much) to avoid crying. 

“Th-thanks…” he managed. 

“I don’t see how you can give this back, so you can keep it!” Momo chirped, patting his head. 

Hibiya sighed and looked up at her. Her sparkling eyes and beautiful face. She smiled brightly, though there was a bit of worry in her grin. She could tell there was something wrong with Hibiya. 

She was kind, gorgeous, and hard working, even if she had odd taste and was the stupidest person on Earth. That’s why Hibiya loved her so much. 

“You know,” he began softly. “Even if there was no gravity on Earth, I would still fall for you, Momo.”

She froze, her hand still resting on his head. “Y-you called me Momo. And you said…”

Hibiya watched as her face slowly turned the color of a tomato. Or red bean soup flavored soda. It was really cute. 

“Yeah.” Somehow, Hibiya’s nervousness had disappeared. “Momo, I fell for you a long time ago. Go out with me.”

He stood on his toes and pulled her down to him, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. He could literally see steam coming out of her ears. 

“B-but I thought you and Hiyori… that you liked…” Momo stuttered. 

“Hiyori doesn’t hold a candle to you,” he replied. Where was he getting this smoothness?

“That makes me… happy. To hear you say that. I had always hoped that I was someone special to you.”

She looked at him, a tiny smile beginning to form. 

“Will you go out with me?” Hibiya asked. 

Momo didn’t reply, but moved down to touch his lips to hers. 

He took that as a yes. 

 

…

 

“Somehow, I’m not surprised that this was all Kano-san’s idea,” Momo chirped from the seat across from Hibiya. 

“Yeah, well, it kinda worked out. Wanna bite?” Hibiya offered his ice cream cone out to his date. Momo eagerly took up his offer and downed half the frozen treat in one bite. 

“I must say,” Momo continued on, despite the horrified look on Hibiya’s face. “I’m surprised any of Kano-san’s advice actually came in handy. Like, he’s never useful! You can’t trust what he says!”

“Excuse me?!” a familiar voice screeched. 

Kano’s head popped out from behind a menu at a nearby table. Kido sat across from him, her head resting in her hands and a tick mark on her forehead. 

“This is what was supposed to be a romantic date,” she groaned. 

“Sorry, Tsubomi dear! I just couldn’t help spying on these two when we spotted them back at the park…”

A laugh sounded from another table. “It would seem that we all have similar tastes, coming to the same ice cream place!”

Seto and Marry sat together, feeding each other ice cream. Marry had bits on her cheek, and Seto was holding a napkin for wiping them off. 

“That’s disgusting, feeding each other like that…” Shintaro’s voice said. 

Hibiya saw him walking past them with Ayano, holding her hand. 

“Aww, no! I think it’s cute, Shintaro!” Haruka piped up from behind them, his arms around Takane, who was blushing but not resisting. 

“Can we not have one private moment?!” Hibiya put his head into his hands. 

Momo giggled. “It’s okay, Hibiya! We can have fun all together! We’ll have a… let’s see, one, two, three, four, five couples… um, that’s not a double date… fivetiple? Er… fiveuplet? What’s the word… anyways, let’s have a big group date!”

Hibiya sighed but smiled contentedly at his girlfriend. As the others began walking together, talking and laughing, he pulled her into a quick kiss. 

“You know,” he said. “I’m pretty thankful for Kano’s cheesy pick up lines.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and kudos!
> 
> Again:
> 
> Happy Kagepro Day!! :)


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